Many divorces are combative. Even if the relationship didn’t end in a negative manner, it’s still possible for fights to occur. Some of the most common fights are about children and especially about custody. As the time to separate gets closer, some parents can get incredibly hostile when it comes to children. Threats get made, sometimes in a manner that cuts to the core of the other person. If your divorce has thus far been friendly, you may be otherwise blindsided by a request for sole or joint custody. In fact, you might even find that your ex is threatening to fight you in court if he does not get the precise custody arrangement that he or she wants.

It’s important to remember that, despite any assurance to the contrary, every divorce has the possibility of turning ugly. There is a reason that your relationship is coming to an end and all the problems that were found therein can quickly blow up. Custody is a major issue that can be used as leverage. There is every possibility that your former spouse will use any issue as an excuse to drag out the divorce and the threat of going to court is something that people use very often to get their way.

The bad news is that your spouse has every right to go to court. While courts have shown a great deal of preference for collaborative law processes in divorce, there is no requirement that a consensus must be reached during these processes. As such, he or she can walk away from the negotiating table and take your to court for your divorce at any time. This can be a long and drawn-out process and it won’t be particularly pleasant for anyone. With that said, it’s not necessarily an empty threat.

The good news is that going to court doesn’t necessarily mean that your spouse is going to win anything. Yes, it will be stressful. Yes, it will cost money. It will not, however, necessarily end with your spouse getting his way. In fact, a spouse who is willing to use a child as leverage is likely not going to be looked at favorably by the court and the court won’t take his decision to go to court as a signal to give him preferable treatment. All going to court will do is put you two on a neutral standing where the law will make the final decisions.

If your spouse decides that he wants to go to court, you can’t stop him. You can, however, remind yourself that you don’t have to give in to the demands of a bully. Your lawyer can put together a case just as well as his, and your children deserve to be in a place that is the best for them. If you are providing a safe and secure household, there’s little chance that the court will come back with a decision that won’t leave you with at least partial custody of your child. A bully simply cannot take away your children by waiving about the possibility of going to court.

If your husband decides to go to court, you can’t stop him. This does not mean that you need to give in, though. It’s always better to call the other party’s bluff and to stick to your guns in any situation that might impact the health and safety of your children. If you believe the thing he is asking for will harm your children, let the divorce move over to court. This will, at the very least, help you to ensure that the party making the decisions will be the court. While you can’t do much to stop your former spouse from trying to bully you to get his way, you can call his bluff and let the courts handle the custody disputes.